Sascha’s Secret Love Letter #53
Quotes From The Heart
“The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.”
— Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
Yes, it’s a scripted line from a TV show, and yes, it still holds up decades later. It’s easy to treat it like a consolation prize for being single. I’d say it’s the opposite. How you treat yourself on an ordinary Tuesday, with nobody watching or keeping score, sets the standard for what you’ll accept from anyone else.
Try this: Plan one thing this week that’s purely for you, with no one to impress and nothing to post.
This Week In Love
More Than Half of Singles Say They’re Happier Alone
Match and the Kinsey Institute’s 15th annual Singles in America study, released September 10, found that 52.4% of singles are happier on their own than they were in past relationships. Only 16% are actively seeking a committed relationship, yet interest in marriage has climbed from 33% in 2010 to 45%. That’s not giving up on love. It’s refusing to trade peace for company. One caveat: it’s a self-reported survey from a dating company, so read it as a snapshot. My takeaway: the new standard is “better than my peace.”
Question for you: If you weigh your current peace against the idea of a relationship, what would a partner have to add to make it worth it?
Media Magic
Are You Dating the Blueprint or the House?
Somewhere between the first drink and the appetizers, you’ve probably already drawn up the finished version of him. The calmer one. The more consistent one. The man he’d be in two years if he followed through on half of what he says he’s working on. You’re gifted at this.
The trouble is that you end up dating the plans instead of the building actually standing in front of you.
Ask yourself whether you’d still choose the house if the renovation never happened.
And when a friend’s anniversary photo makes your chest tighten, remember that countdown is borrowed from someone else’s calendar. Your standards were never on a timer.
This week’s video is a longer one, and it covers what to do when your instincts fire and your doubt arrives right behind them.
Try this now: The next time “still single” crosses your mind, try “still holding out for the right fit” instead, and notice whether it feels like a countdown or a standard.
Curious Questions
Q: After a disagreement, what helps you feel reconnected fastest?
A) A sincere apology 💬
B) A long, honest talk 🛋️
C) A hug, no words needed 🤍
D) Time apart, then a fresh start 🌤️
Hit reply with A/B/C/D — all responses are anonymous. We'll share results in next week's newsletter.
Last week's results are in.
We asked: After a breakup, where does your energy usually go first?
72.72% of women voted for processing it internally.
Thank you to everyone who replied.
Your Secret Invitation
Elizabeth Bennet decides who Darcy is within one evening, and she gets him completely wrong. Her judgment feels like intuition, but it’s really wounded pride. Darcy’s character only shows itself through what he does when nobody’s watching.
You can watch Pride and Prejudice (2005) on Netflix or wherever you usually watch your movies.
Reflection: Are you judging men by how the first conversation felt, or by how they act over time?
Note: Chemistry shows up in an evening. Character takes a season.
Until next week!
P.S. Are you ready to break the pattern that’s kept you single or stuck, and finally take control of your love life again? Apply now for the ‘Becoming Her’ Mastermind… spots are kept intentionally small to ensure direct support, so don't wait to reserve yours.
👉 Start your 'Becoming Her' Mastermind application here
